Does age matter in relationships? Is age difference a problem?

Age gap in relationships is something people discuss very often. More so when women are older than men. But does age matter in love? Join our debate

Gender, age gap and love

Many still consider age gap a taboo, in particular in the case women are older than men. Usually, relationships with wider age gaps are more common among people with a lower levels of education and income, and in certain ethnic communities. In many traditional societies men often married younger women. Patriarchic and sexist attitudes persist. Sometimes relationships have been often considered means for procreation. Since biologically men reproductive age is longer, older man- younger woman type of couple was usually considered acceptable. Another reason was for that was a rational choice explanation: the search for economic stability. Breadwinners, usually men, become "more appealing partner". But societies are changing. Age is less of a problem for having babies and income inequality between men and women is slowly decreasing. It is increasingly common to find older woman - younger man relationships. Hollywood and many celebrities are contributing normalize in the public opinion this type of relationships. TV shows and films such as "The Graduate", "Cougar Club", and "Cougar Town", depict middle age women having affairs with much younger men. What has become acceptable on the screen is it also acceptable in real life?

Does age matter in relationships?

In average, age difference is about 2.3 years in heterosexual couples and slightly higher in gay relationships were there is more variability. Thus, homosexual couples in their early 20s have an average age difference of about two to three years, but once they get into their 40s, that average age gap increases to about seven years. Tipically, couples who differ widely in age are also more likely to cohabit than marry. Some people consider that age gap is an insumountable barrier, others on the contrary, think age gap has important advantages. There is no conclusive research evidence on whether a large age gap is conducive to failure in a relationship or not or on which is the "ideal" or "maximum acceptable" age gap? Family, level of income, stability are dimensions we tend to consider when assessing this problem. These are some of the arguments people tend to use:

• Power relation within the couple: it may be argue that big age differences may be accompnied with different levels of 'bargaining power' within the relationship. Sometimes the older person may have more experience and gravitas than the younger one, but not always. Often the younger in the couple may have the capacity to do things that the older cannot. 
• Income stability: sometimes the older partner is more advanced in her/his career and can provide income to support the other's development. 
• Psychological stability: with age sometime people become wiser or at least more experienced at managing emotions and expectations. This could be both good or bad for the couple. Good as one person may support the other, bad if the discrepancy in worldviews creates frictions.
• Capacity to have babies and to take care of them: although with age people become more experienced in how to solve life problems, it is true that small children require a lot of energy from parents.
• Sexual attraction: younger people tend to be fitter and healthier, however, experience is also very important from a sexual point of view. People learn how to be more empathic and better satisfy others and themselves.
• Willingness to commit to a relationship: younger partners may be more curious about relationships and sometimes less willing to commit. Although that is not always the case. Sometimes older people have come to the conclusion that in life relations are very fulfilling for a limited amount of time.
• Life goals and interests: at different stages of life people have different sources of entertainment and expectations. There could be important discrepancies across ages.

Watch these videos with some of the pros and cons of age gaps in relationships: 

Based on your experiences, tell us if you think disparity in age usually interferes with love. Are age gap relationships better for women? And for men?

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